responsibilities

in october i'm leaving the country. leaving my husband and baby behind. for kenya. most would furrow their brow and think if not say, that this is not very responsible of me. have i prayed about it? is this a wise decision? none of these thoughts or questions have been asked without myself first asking them. the answer is yes. resoundingly yes.

my husband and i have made it a priority to teach our daughter of the love the Father has for her. although she is only one, she knows much about love. she can even act out the motions to one of her favorite songs that sings, 'Jesus! he cares for me'.

for as much as i love my sweet girl, God loves her even more. he loves her more than i can imagine with a love that cost him his son. it is the same love he has for you. the same he has for the men and women filling our prisons. the same love he has for the children in africa. children without clean drinking water, without parents, without food enough to fill their bellies. without hope.

that i could steal just a week from my calendar to fly across the globe, give out a few stickers, hold a few hands, and kiss a few foreheads will not make any headlines. it's impact will be so minute compared to the millions in need across the sea. but oh, that it would be a fragrant offering to the One that beckons. and that he would change me into someone that resembles Him more through the process.

it is my responsibility. it is my desire. he has commanded us to go. whether that means out of state, out of country, or out of comfort zone. it is i who is to love you. love that sees you as better than myself, love that sacrifices my wants for others daily needs. it is i who through grace alone am hands and feet of a God who lives. for if not me, then whom? if not you, then whom? if not now, then when?

so, yes, i will leave a dearly loved baby girl safe with her daddy and family whom love her fiercely and will travel to towns where streets have no names. there, i will love-- love lavishly with my whole being so that someday even though bellies go empty and rain tarries someone's little girl might say, 'Jesus?! yes, he cares for me!'. for His glory.